When I met my husband, I was already 33 and getting disillusioned about ever getting married. Not because I thought I was too old or not beautiful enough to get attracted to the opposite sex. It was just that the wrong people kept coming. You see I was already born again and knew what the word said about being unequally yoked. In addition, it was too late in one’s life to start making mistakes and hoping that somewhere along the line things would work out fine because they never do. To the glory of God, my husband came into my life at a particular time. I must confess that nothing in him suggested my seriousness or to say the least recommended him; not his Christian life, his financial status or his background. Like the Word says God will use the foolish things of this word to confound the wise. Somehow the relationship blossomed into marriage in 1998.
I got pregnant six months into our marriage and we were all happy and excited. My doctors were particularly thrilled because of my age. We praised God like we never did because so much had been said during our courtship about matured ladies finding it difficult to get pregnant!. However, our happiness was short-lived as I lost the pregnancy at twenty-six weeks. For me, the world ended and God stopped to be in existence. I was shattered, devastated, empty, short-changed and copletely lost.
I tried to pick up the threads and try to have another baby. Little did we know that the worst trials of our lives were just beginning to unfold. One month, two, six months, one year, two years, three years, four years, six, seven! It was unbearable. From one doctor to the other, one surgery to the other, HSP! Laparoscopy, tubal surgery, you name it. I became a guinea pig for student doctors! Latest drugs and findings were tried on me, sometimes with my consent and at other times, I was not even told.
What was the cause of all this? Nobody could say precisely. I had the best doctors. After the missed abortion I had, I was told not to worry that most women lost their first pregnancies due to anxiety and too much excitement. As months went into years, I was told I had unexplained secondary infertility. I was becoming desperate but God had other plans.
At this point in my life, over forty, I gradually started retracing my steps back to God. We went for prayer meeting one evening and one of the elders in church called me and suggested adoption to me. I was totally in shock and livid with anger. To be candid, for the fact that the elder in question was my parents’ closest friend, I would have given him a lashing of my tongue. He sensed it and regretted his actions. He even sent my parents to beg me. I did not hear of that word again untill two years later.
I got home and met my mother and husband in very serious mood. From the look on their faces it was obvious something terrible had happened. Not knowing what to do, I ran across to my mum and held her hands. I thought my father had died. No my father was okay. God! My husband? It must be a child from another woman! Far from it. Then what was it? After several minutes of beating about the bush, my husband hit the nail on the head ” I want us to adopt a child. I am tired of waiting. I am tired of coming to an empty house”. Now that was below the belt!.
That night I cried my eyes out. One thing stood clear. I have a very unique and understanding man. I truly thank God for specially handpicking him for me. God always goes ahead. He knows how to pick His son-in-laws if we allow Him.
After the initial shock, I joined my husband to start praying for our child, where he might be and what he will look like. We prayed for the biological mother whoever she may be. We prayed for her safety both physically and emotionally. I prayed that God will give the mother peace and comfort her with another child whenever she was ready to have one of her own if she did not already have.
We started the process. First we needed to get in touch with some families that have done this before but this was almost impossible as nobody knew anyone or they simply were not telling. Again God showed up. Through a divine connection we met a couple at a function and we gat talking. The couple took a strong liking to us and before we knew it, they had invited us over to their home. My husband does not make friends easily but on this occasion he was completely taken by this lovely couple and was even looking forward to visiting them. I played along mainly because it was the first time I will see my husband showing inteest in any relationship outside our church, family or old friends. Even then he hardly visited any.
We visited them, we had such a wonderful time. We never realised our friends were so rich. They had two lovely adorable boys in their teens. They asked us about our children, we told them we still believed God. Then started the usual probing.
It was their turn to visit us. They came with a gift. A box of children’s clothes! They later told us they had made up their minds to share their story with us. They had never ever done that and if at the end we did not want it that way, they pleaded with us to keep their secret, secret. The two boys were adopted! As at the time they were telling us their story, they had concluded plans to adopt a set of twin girls. That did it for me.
We continued praying, I was now very anxious to have my baby. Every fear or misgiving I had about adoption was completely gone after I listened to this wonderful couple that God used. If it could happen to them, who am I? We were encouraged daily by the word of God which came through my husband and sometimes myself. We were now convinced God had a hand in this whole thing and that in His perfect timing our son will come. God did not allow us to wait for long.
Exactly twelve months after our meeting with this wonderful Godsent couple, our son, arrived. My whole world changed. Psalm 126: 1-3 became a reality for me. Indeed my mouth was filled with laughter, my heart with rejoicing and my tongue with a new song. My only regret is that I never knew about this all the time I was hopping from one doctor to the other, wasting money, wasting time, wasting energy and coming out with nothing but pain, wear and tear.
For weeks I could not sleep well. Not beacuse of the baby but because I was too excited to sleep. I would keep awake staring at the baby. My joy knew no bounds. I am floating in God’s love, It’s incredible!. My husband has gone crazy with joy. He goes late to work. Our marriage suddenly turned around 360 degrees with new wine flowing everyday. God is awesome. Suddenly, my husband is behaving like a teenager and I, a new bride that just had her new first baby! Everybody was happy for us. I have never for one moment felt I am not the biological mother of my baby. He has filled a very big vacuum in our lives. I still believe God for one from my womb because He has promised and I know he never fails. To tell you the truth, I am not anxious anymore and I thank JEHOVAH.
Culled from God’s Waiting Room by Yewande Zaccheaus.
Final note : We are all adopted children of God Romans 8 :15-17 or tell me did God physically give birth to any of us?.
Joseph adopted Jesus. Also with divine arrangement, Pharaoh’s daughter adopted Moses, Mordecai adopted Esther etc.
There are so many families whose children are adopted and they are very very happy. The thing about God is that, these children most of the time end up looking like their parents.
The big question is, should a Christian adopt? I would say yes, If Jesus was adopted, who are you not to adopt. But you must listen to God to tell you what you need to do. The part I love about the woman above was that she was no longer anxious while waiting. If you can only get anxiety out of your way, you are on your way to receiving your child. God will fulfil your heart desire IJN. U r a mum.